EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
What is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured therapy approach that helps the brain and body process upsetting memories or experiences so they feel less “stuck” and less emotionally intense. Many people describe it as helping the mind file a difficult experience in the past, so it doesn’t keep showing up in the present as big emotions, fears, body tension, nightmares, or stress reactions.
EMDR has been widely recognized as an effective treatment for concerns such as trauma-related stress, anxiety, depression, and phobias.
How does EMDR work?
EMDR uses something called bilateral stimulation, which simply means gentle left-right stimulation of the body or senses (for example: guided eye movements, alternating taps, or tapping the “butterfly hug”). While your child briefly thinks about a specific memory or feeling, the bilateral stimulation helps the brain process it in a more adaptive way.
One helpful way to think about this: your child is not “reliving” the experience in detail for a long time. Instead, the therapist helps them notice what comes up in small, manageable pieces while using skills to stay grounded and safe.
The theory behind EMDR
EMDR is based on the idea that humans naturally have an internal system that processes experiences in a healthy way. When something is overwhelming, scary, or confusing, that experience may not get fully processed. It can remain stored with strong emotions, negative beliefs, and body sensations, which can later be triggered by reminders. EMDR aims to help the brain connect that memory with more adaptive information so your child can respond with less distress and more confidence.
The 8 phases of EMDR therapy
EMDR follows a clear, supportive structure. Here is what that looks like:
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History taking
Your therapist learns about current concerns, past experiences, and goals for therapy.emdr-client-handout
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Preparation
Your child learns calming and coping skills first. This is a key part of EMDR, especially for children.emdr-client-handout
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Assessment
Together, you identify specific memories or themes to work on.emdr-client-handout
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Desensitization
Your child recalls parts of the memory while using bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, etc.) to support processing.emdr-client-handout
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Installation
The therapist helps strengthen more helpful beliefs and emotions to replace negative beliefs linked to the memory.emdr-client-handout
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Body scan
Your child checks in with their body for any lingering tension and learns ways to release it.emdr-client-handout
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Closure
Sessions end with a review and tools to stay stable between sessions.emdr-client-handout
Is EMDR a proven method for children?
Yes. EMDR is considered an evidence-based approach and is used with individuals across the lifespan, including children and adolescents. Your therapist adapts the process to match a child’s developmental level, attention span, communication style, and comfort.
For many kids, this means using shorter sets of bilateral stimulation, more preparation and coping skills, and child-friendly ways to express thoughts and feelings (for example: drawing, storytelling, movement, toys, or play-based activities).
What are the benefits of EMDR?
Potential benefits include:
Relief from distressing symptoms
Improved emotional regulation
Enhanced self-esteem and confidence
Lasting resolution of traumatic memories
EMDR has been used to support a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, panic, phobias, depression, PTSD, sleep difficulties, and other stress-related challenges.
What are possible side effects?
It is normal for some people to notice temporary increases in emotions or body sensations during or after sessions, especially while the brain is continuing to process. Some children may have more dreams, memories, or feelings pop up for a short time. Your therapist will help your child use coping tools and will pace the work to support stability.
Is EMDR right for my child?
EMDR can be helpful when a child has distressing memories, strong emotional reactions, or symptoms that interfere with daily life. It may not be the best fit for every child right away. A therapist will assess readiness and may focus first on skill-building, relationship safety, and emotional regulation before beginning processing work.
How EMDR can be incorporated with Play Therapy
Play Therapy is a natural fit for EMDR because play is how children communicate, practice coping, and make sense of their world. When EMDR is paired with Play Therapy, the therapist can meet the child where they are, using developmentally appropriate tools while still following the EMDR structure.
Here are common ways EMDR and Play Therapy work together:
Building safety and regulation through play (Preparation phase)
Before any memory processing begins, many children benefit from play-based regulation skills.
This may include:
Creating a “calm place” using imagination, drawings, or miniatures
Practicing breathing and grounding with sensory items (stress balls, putty, sand tray materials)
Learning body-awareness through movement games (tight/loose muscle play, stretching, “shake it out”)
Using story characters to practice coping (“What helps your character feel brave?”)
Using play to identify themes and targets (Assessment phase)
Some children don’t describe experiences in adult language. A therapist can use play to gently notice patterns, themes, and triggers, such as:
Repeated rescue or danger play
Themes of control vs. helplessness
Big protector characters, hiding, or “always on guard” play
Strong reactions to certain topics, sounds, or situations
Child-friendly bilateral stimulation
Bilateral stimulation does not have to be “clinical.” For children, it may be offered in ways that feel natural and empowering, such as:
Butterfly hug tapping (self-tapping on shoulders/upper arms)
Alternating hand taps on knees
Gentle alternating tactile “tappers” (when appropriate)
Eye movements using a light bar, wand, or simple tracking games (as clinically appropriate)
Play-based processing and meaning-making
As children process, they may show changes through play rather than long conversations. You might see:
A storyline shifting from “stuck” to “solved”
Less intensity in themes that used to feel scary
More flexible, hopeful endings
Increased confidence, assertiveness, or calm in the playroom
Integrating new beliefs through play (Installation phase)
Children often internalize positive beliefs best through experience. A therapist may reinforce growth with:
A “bravery story” the child creates
Art that represents strengths
Symbolic rituals (letting go, building, repairing, celebrating)
Play that practices new responses (confidence, boundary setting, asking for help)
What a typical child EMDR session might look like
Every therapist works a little differently, but many sessions include:
A brief check-in with child (and sometimes parent)
A regulation activity (breathing, sensory, movement, play)
EMDR work in small, paced steps (only if the child is ready)
A calming closure routine so the child leaves feeling steady
A short parent update focused on support strategies (not private processing details)
EMDR is not about forcing children to talk about painful experiences before they are ready. A well-trained therapist focuses on safety, pacing, and helping children feel in control. Many kids find EMDR empowering because they learn that feelings can move through and change, and that their bodies can return to calm.
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